Image credit ~ Widescreen Wallpaper
Everybody lies.
That’s what Dr. House says, right?
And he is correct. Everybody does.
I read a post the other day where a parent revealed that their child lied to them a couple of times. The first time, the child was punished. The second time, the child was punished more.
This will do one thing and one thing only. It will make the child a better liar.
Why?
Because the cause of the lie is not addressed ~ only the lie itself.
So, the child will become more proficient in the art of lying.
A lie signals a fracture in the relationship between the liar and the lie-ee because all lies are based on fear.
- Fear of being caught.
- Fear of confrontation.
- Fear of disappointing others.
- Fear of judgement.
- Fear of punishment.
- Fear of all kinds.
If the focus is on the reason for the lie and the goal is strengthening the relationship, the lies will lessen and possibly disappear.
What are your thoughts on lying? Have you ever caught someone in a lie? What have you done about it? Do you think Dr. House is right in that everybody lies?
Amen on punishment teaching the child to be a better liar, Kim. I know adults who will argue that a non-truth is not a lie. They didn’t lie, they didn’t misrepresent the truth–but when asked what their words were, if not truth, all that rolls off the tongue is an adamant insistence that they did not lie.
Here’s the thing: in the absence of an accurate recounting of actual thoughts, words or events, you have a lie. The thing you have to say to keep you out of trouble is not the truth. Truth is truth.
A discussion with the child about what truth is vs a lie, the hurt feelings that arise from deception, is what’s in order. IMHO. And so ends my rant of the day.
Truth is truth ~ love that.
You’re so right that the hurt feelings and the trust issues are what needs to be discussed, as well as finding the cause of the lie and working to fix that. It’s all about relationships at the core.
I’m glad you came to rant
Oooh, you forgot “lies to get something we want”. I went out with more than one guy like that.
It’s sad, but subtle forms of lying are rewarded in our culture. So it’s only natural that people take the next step into outright lies.
You’re right ~ I think I have known a few guys like that myself ~ lol